Helmuth, Speaking for Boskone

Saturday Morning Edition, 2/15/97

Program Changes

"Jane Yolen Tells Stories" (Dragonslair program) was moved from noon to 11 a.m. today.

Marvin Kaye will not be on "I Can Explain That!" (noon Saturday).

Add Harold Feld to "Story to Song" (3 p.m. Saturday).

Catherine Asaro's Reading (11 a.m. Sunday) will be both a reading and a discussion of science and SF.

Jane Jewell will not be on "The Craft of Reading" (noon Sunday).

Joe Haldeman's Reading has been moved from 11 a.m. Saturday to 2 p.m. Sunday.

Katya Reimann's Reading (2 p.m. Sunday) has been cancelled.

Sue Anderson has been added to "Fannish Musicals" (2 p.m. Sunday).

Laura Anne Gilman's Reading (3 p.m. Sunday) has been cancelled.

Good Stuff Cheap!

Today's TAFF Auction (5 p.m. in Waterford) will include an Australian Fan Game (Fanac), autographed John Ford books, fanzines, etc. Stop by, buy a mathom, and support a good cause. Auctioneers are Joe Siclari and Rusty Hevelin.


In case you haven't heard, the President invoked the Railroad Labor Act and postponed the American Airlines strike for at least 60 days.

The weather is supposed to be clear and cold by tonight.

Elliot Shorter recently had a heart attack, and is reportedly convalescing at the Roxbury (Mass.) Veterans' Hospital. No doubt he'd appreciate hearing from friends. (And Vijay Bowen, his closest relative, says the family will kill him for not getting in touch.)

Hotel Restaurants

Today's Hot Lunch Buffet at J Witherspoons (11:30-1:30, $8.95) includes the following:

Tossed Greens; Pasta Salad; Potato Salad; Rolls and Butter; Soup du Jour; Chicken Chardonnay; Vegetable Lasagna; Steamed Zucchini and Summer Squash; Rice Pilaf; and Assorted Cookies, Brownies, Moose and Squirrel Mousse, and Strudel.

While the Shamrock Deli Buffet at Molly Malone's (11:30-2, $7.95) includes:

Tossed Salad; Cole Slaw; Potato Salad; Soup du Jour; Sliced Deli Meats and Cheeses (Roast Beef, Turkey, Ham; Swiss, Cheddar, American); Assorted Sandwich Condiments; Assorted Breads, Rolls, and Buns; and Cookies, Brownies, and Strudel.

And this evening there is a North End Dinner Buffet at J Witherspoons (5-9, $12.95):

Minestrone Soup; Antipasto Salad; Garlic Bread; Tossed Romaine Salad with Caesar Dressing and Fresh Parmesan; Roasted Herbed Chicken; Tortellini Alfredo; Italian Sausage with Sweet Peppers; Broccoli with Lemon; White Rice; and Macaroons and Assorted Cannolis.

(Yes, I know this is boring, but you people aren't generating enough news to fill our space.)

Our Heritage, II

" 'Boskonia . . . is an absolute despotism, holding its absolute authority by means of a rigid system of rewards and punishments. In our eyes it is fundamentally wrong, but it works--how it works!' "

--E. E. Smith, Galactic Patrol


As of the close of Friday, we had approximately 109 new full members and 15 one-day Friday members.

Quiz for Boskone 101

(We told you at "Ask Dr. Mike" that there would be a quiz. Didn't believe us, eh?)

This is an open-book exam; you have until 9 a.m. Sunday to complete it and turn it in at Information. Cheating will not be tolerated!

(Short answer)

  1. What does this chemical best complement?


    NO           NH3
      \   __  /
       \/   \/
     /         \
    CH3         CHO

    Extra credit:

    chemical name:___________________

  2. What does this stand for?








  3. Describe one guest or SMOF in pictographs.

    (Short essays -- use a separate piece of paper)

  4. What is the difference between politics and religion?
  5. Where is Newt Gingrich from?
  6. Explain the origins of the planet Venus.
  7. Where are women from, where are they going, and why?
  8. Compare and contrast: chocolate and Cheez-Whiz®.

    (True or False)

  9. Whiteboards wobble but they don't fall down.
  10. Boskone 36 will feature Jell-O® as part of the program.

Other quotes from Dr. Mike (contributed by Bob Devney and your editor):

"You come here with a head full of mush . . . and you leave with the mush evenly distributed."

"Is Cheez-Whiz really cheese? Well, start with whiz. We're all familiar with Budweiser or Sam Adams, the precursor chemicals . . ."

"50% of you are sitting at placebo tables. You will be getting dummy jokes."

Q: "Dr. Mike, if chocolate is sacred, what about ice cream?"

A: "Do you mean chocolate ice cream or the other, heretical varieties?"

"Fans know how to build nuclear weapons, but they don't, by and large."

SFWA Auction

There will be an auction to benefit the SFWA Emergency Medical Fund at noon Sunday in the Grand Ballroom; auctioneers: Peter J. Heck, Rusty Hevelin, and Joe Haldeman. More details in a later issue.

Staff Stuff

"Had Helmuth's customary staff of keen-eyed, quick-witted lieutenants been at their posts, . . . his defense would not have failed . . ."

--E. E. Smith, Galactic Patrol

As it was, they did lose the battle. For helping us to do better in this battle, we thank Ben Yalow, Webmaster; Joe Mayhew for artwork; Elise Hertel for the Boskone 101 quiz; the whole Services crew for attempting to keep this elderly Mac in operation; and Doc Smith for inspiration.

--George Flynn, Speaking for Helmuth